Tuesday, 19 December 2017

2017, look what you made me do.

I know that there are still a couple of days till the end of the year, but it is still the end of the year, so I thought maybe it’s totally fine to start writing on my reflection of the year. The funny thing about this year is that I realized how completely opposite I felt at the end of last year compared to this year.

My close friends can attest to the fact that as much as I may look chill most of the time (ye ke?), I am a very anxious person. I get anxiety even after taking a long week of break from work (or taking the airplane HAHAHA). The night before, I would keep on worrying about what had happened or how will I be able to get through the day, the week, etc. which to calm myself down, I will start to make a ‘to-do list’ in the morning and try to get things done one thing at a time. So at the end of last year, I was sitting with Fatimah, telling her how anxious I felt about the upcoming year. I talked about what I wanted to do, what I wanted to achieve.. and reflected upon the past year, feeling rather unaccomplished.. but still positive at the same time, since I tried my very best… only circumstances was not on my side.

This year, I felt like a completely different person though. Anxiety? What is anxiety? To be honest, I really don’t even feel like anything. This sentiment scares me because I feel, indifferent. I don’t even feel like there is a need to reflect on my year, what more thinking of resolutions for the next? I am scared because I am feeling this way. I am scared because I know I can’t give up, but I feel like I am just so done. So done, that whenever there is another rejection, another form of failure, what may break me down and burst into tears, no longer affected me. It just feels like any other day, and what scares me is that, because of my ‘feelingless’ feeling (if that even makes sense), as much as I know I can’t give up and I must press on, I do not have the motivation to fight. 

Now, the reason I don’t want to confide to people about this feeling of mine or to tell how I feel, is because I purely know that I should not give up... and the last thing I would like to hear from someone is that ‘maybe you have not done enough’, ‘you should try harder’, ‘don’t give up, you can do this’. No. Just no.

So today, I brought myself to reflect on what I have learned this year, so I could at least put sense back to myself, not trying to run away from reality and so that I could stay sane.. and positive. I am sharing this, not for self pity or whatever, no. I’m just sharing this in case that there are people like me, feeling the same way, and would be able to relate with how I feel, and maybe will help with how they might feel.

What have I learned in the year 2017?
  1. Trust in what you believe you can do, don’t let anyone bring you down for not really knowing or believing in your potential, even if it is someone you aspire to become. This year, I was so happy to meet someone that was my aspiration, that has inspired me and instilled that motivation again to me. However, that particular person said things that made me lose hope, question my abilities, and made me feel so upset not because of the ‘rejection’ he/she gave, but when you expect motivation from someone you look up to, but get something otherwise, you question yourself why did you even aspire to be someone like that?
  2. Even if your current circumstances is not letting you do what you want to do. Or not letting you achieve what you should be able to achieve. Don’t forget to trust and continuously believe in yourself. Yes, you can’t be too overconfident, thinking that you are special and unique. But, don’t let such circumstances bring you down, and continuously find a way to recharge and regain your beliefs.. so that given the opportunity, you will be able to prove yourself.. and when you get the opportunity, do the best.
  3. When I was 22, I used to dream. Dream so hard, so lavishly, thinking of all the things that I have planned, will come my way, despite going through hardship and challenges. This year, I learned, things may not go your way, however hard you tried, but take it all as learning experience. There’s always a reason for something to happen, so even if your plans don’t work out.. even if it is not for the better, there must be a reason behind why we have to go through such hardships. Maybe to meet certain people, maybe to make you grow, maybe to instill some motivation in you. I think this year, going to the Khazanah interview for my scholarship was a blessing despite failing. Meeting with inspiring young people and becoming friends with them made me remember the environment I was in, in the States. 
  4. Try to find someone you can talk and relate to, about work, about life, with no judgements. If you tend to just bottle up your excitement towards a certain scientific research for example, or your frustration towards life, you will just end up being a grumpy sourpuss that has no motivation (i.e. me). Also, finding someone you can talk to in your line of work, might be a good way to boost your knowledge (which I think I am lacking, find me someone to talk to please).
  5. Sometimes you may want to do something else because you feel like you are in a standstill, however when you want to move away from your comfort zone, there is also a huge responsibility that you have to weigh in to make a decision. Some might say, be reckless, you’re still young. But at 24, I have so much to consider before making the move. Don’t be reckless, think it through on what matters the most to you. You have to remember, that life is not just about chasing success in your career.
  6. I have been scammed this year, as embarrassing as it may be to tell you. I am absolutely embarrassed to admit so, but I am telling you that even a skeptical person like me, that never thought could be a victim of being scammed, can be. It can happen to anyone. So be careful. Sometimes you can be skeptical about the situation or the offer, thinking that it is too good to be true, but with the surrounding circumstances you are brought to believe in doing so. So don't ever judge a person for being too vulnerable to be scammed, scammers these days are too good, just be careful. I didn't lose that much, but then again.. for someone who just started working and barely has money, even rm10 is precious. Well really, at one point, even the coins in my pouch means a lot to me, because I get to buy one cup of Nescafe Tarik with it.
I think there are several more, but my mojo for writing has disrupted. So, I guess I’ll just share these 6 lessons I learned this year, for now.

keep calm, and continue to rock on the next year!

Now that I have written what I learned this year, it made me realize that sometimes you may not have achieved something in terms of success.. that makes you feel accomplished for that year. But you may have gained life lessons that are equally valuable as a part of you growing up.

On a side note, I am thinking of listing the things I would like to do before I turn 25 in a few months! Maybe a #25thingsbefore25 list?

Love,
AA.

Wednesday, 30 August 2017

Towards a healthy lifestyle

Hi, so I was inspired to talk about my weight loss journey, when a few of my colleagues who have not known me back during my chubbier days, commented on how easy it was for me since I am slim, not having the need to worry about getting fat. Whenever I told them, I gain weight easily, and how I used to be fat… no one seem to believe me. Trust me, unfortunately, I am not one of those people who could eat without worrying about gaining weight. Not blessed with that kind of metabolism. I guess, I have to confess, I always have this constant fear of gaining back and returning to my past weight.

A lot of people whom have known me before I slimmed down, would ask me what I did, how did I lose weight? This blog post will not be your typical ‘how I lost weight’ blog post, but really just sharing my journey and my feelings on the whole process, well simplified version since I am too lazy to write. 


I was not obese, however I was overweight. At my heaviest point, I was 70kg or maybe more? Maybe 75kg? Never have I thought that I would become big sized. I was a fairly normal sized kid when I was younger, a little to the underweight side. When I was 15, I started to weigh more. I guess I was one those girls that had an early growth spurt, so at the age of 17, I was already not growing horizontally, but started growing vertically. I lived with my grandmother, and not blaming her for the reason I was starting to get fat, but living with your grandmother meant good food. It also meant, I was frequently fed, and if I don’t feed myself with the food she made, she will get upset. This was a problem, since I was on my holidays after college and before I flew to the States to continue my degree. At this time, I already saw that I was getting chubbier. Not too bad, I think I was around 60kgs? 62kg maybe? But the jump from being only 52kgs (yes, I am heavy-boned/athletic, so at my slimmer state, I am still not ‘asian’ light), to 62kg was quite rapid! 

It got worst when I went to the states. I never thought I could actually become fat. It never came across me. I thought, yea I could be chubby, but I will never become overweight. I’m still 17, I should still be growing right? However, chocolates… cheese.. and a very unhealthy lifestyle hit me. I drank flavored latte with cream and bagels everyday for breakfast, cheese pizza or anything cheap but halal will mean cheese anything for lunch and dinner. I grew, to a size I have never imagine I could become. 75kg!!! 

More than the figures on the scale, more than the clothes I couldn’t fit, at one point.. I just hated how I felt sooo much. I was constantly lethargic, I was lazy, constantly hungry, constantly craving for sweets, I didn’t even like to walk. I hated looking at myself at the mirror. I hated looking at the fats that was once not there. In my head, everytime I had to go and bathe, I will look at my fats, wishing I could just go for liposuction, or take a knife and slice my fats away. It was bad. 

At this time, I had tried SOOOO many ways to lose weight. I tried so many types of diet. Danish? Atkins? you name it. I tried starving myself, only to eat double the portion after that. Everytime I tried to go on a diet, it would fail. Because, I noticed.. whenever I tried to restrict myself, the bigger my appetite gets! I bought weights, skipping rope, and even a -don’t laugh- sauna exercise suit… I pushed myself to start exercising, with all the ‘exercise schedules’ but ended up not following them, because of the lack of motivation. I would say, there was countless of times where I just failed to stick on a plan, and day by day I got more and more depressed. I just gave up on trying.

After a while, without even trying, I started to lose a little weight. I was back down to 60 something kgs. How did I do it? I never realized what I actually did, until I reflected on it. I used to buy a stash of chocolate whenever we go grocery shopping. Everyday, I used to devour on a few mini bars to reward myself. After reflecting, I noticed that I haven’t been doing so for a while (maybe a few months). That’s when I realized, it was my lifestyle… my true lifestyle that has to be fixed. It could not just be a 2 week crash diet. While figuring what was good for me, what was bad for me.. along the way I had weight gain, and weight loss.. I’m well known for my yo-yo effect. One break I balik Malaysia slim, one break I balik Malaysia berisi. 

It took me a while to discover what works best for me. To be honest, I like how the journey went, I love how this journey made me discover myself. I went through a lot…. to learn about myself, about my body.. and I know that I have a long way to go to figure out and maintain this ‘balanced’ lifestyle. Trust me, by balanced.. I really mean balanced. At one time, I was living such a ‘healthy’ lifestyle, drinking almond milk instead of regular milk, avoiding all my favorite desserts,  eating only greens— like a cow… basically taking the word ‘healthy’ a little too much. I felt pathetic. I felt like vomiting a lot of times, and feel like I hate myself if I go for a cheat meal.

If I were to answer, how did I get where I am now.. and what advise shall I give, it shall be this. Here it goes: 

  1. Take time to understand how your body responds to certain types of food, or certain changes in your lifestyle. Once you understand this, you would know better what is best for you. Different people have different ways or methods that work best for them.
  2. Deciding to be healthier is for yourself, if your motivation is to impress other people, don’t do it. I remember back then, I used to HATE coming back to Malaysia during raya for one thing. People criticizing about how big I have become. I hated meeting relatives when they commented on that. But anyways, people can be very judgmental, in whatever you do. So no matter what you do, do it for you. If your motivation is to look more ‘beautiful’, in my point of view.. don’t do it either. The point of losing weight, is not to make you more beautiful, you already are no matter what size. This is a matter of changing your lifestyle, to become healthier. To make you feel happier, light and more efficient. 
  3. As for me, I noticed that eating rice makes me feel a lot heavier. So that is why I try to avoid taking rice as much as possible, because it makes me feel heavy. It wasn’t a problem for me to cut rice, because I was never too fond of it. My source of carb, is bread! I loooove bread. So people usually criticize my food choices, saying ‘tak makan nasi tapi makan roti, what’s the point of dieting’. Well, I’m not on a diet, but yea.. I avoid rice because I know, it doesn’t work for me. I try to keep my bread choices healthy by eating wholemeal, but that doesn’t mean I don’t eat white bread at all. I eat more vegetables, and protein compared to carbs… but I don’t cut carbs at all. On days I feel like eating unhealthy, I minimize my food intake, and try to portion control. Hence, I eat whatever I like. So it’s either I eat healthy, or I portion control… but I never skip meals, nor do I deprive myself from eating things I love. I think it is most important to enjoy what you eat. The more I restrict myself, the more I would tend to splurge on eating more or eating unhealthy,
  4. Exercise. Moving my butt really makes a change in how my body feels. Whenever I exercise, I notice how I become more positive and my body feels lighter. It boosts my mood, and makes my body feels better. Choose an exercise that you love doing, and change it up regularly so you don’t lose the momentum! I started exercising back in the States, when the BRIC (Bronco Recreation Centre) opened up. They had free zumba, kickboxing, TRX, etc classes. I started to go to those classes almost everyday while I was writing my thesis, since I had not much lab activities anymore. To snap myself out from being a couch potato, or a thesis writing potato, I brought myself to do these classes everyday. It helped me to lose a decent amount of weight (I was finally less than 60kgs —> 56 kgs!) before finally returning to Malaysia for good last year. At this time, I met Katrina.. that invited me into an accountability group. That helped in making me learn about heathy living, that was a foundation to a healthier lifestyle when I finally came back. 
  5. Coming back, with all the foundations I had.. knowing what to do.. I started to lose more weight, and finally broke out of that plateau phase. I am now much more healthy, I love walking… I try my best to exercise whenever I can, it varies from zumba, to running at the gym to weight training using my own body weight. I also now know what food decisions is best for me (although I am also always not choosing the right choices, being in Malaysia— its hard to eat clean). I now am 51kgs, not your asian skinny, but I will like to maintain and stay healthy! NO YO-YO’s!

This whole journey made me learn a few things. I am able to challenge myself beyond what I think I could not do. I used to hate running, because every time I run, I would feel out of breath, and it hurts. I used to avoid running as much as I can. Now, I think I am more fit, I enjoy running at the gym and I gradually am pushing myself to keep running at a longer distance. I learned to be strong, like literally. I was blessed in my ‘gap months’ before starting work, to have met a really good trainer that built my strength (although, I have lost it.. I used to be able to lift heavy weights), but I learned about my potential capabilities in weight lifting HAHA.  I also learned not to be too hard on myself. If I lose track, I just need to start doing it again. Changing your lifestyle is a big commitment after all, slowly change it so it would be something consistent. It taught me to be patient and hardworking. Results don’t come out if I were impatient, nor if I do not do something towards getting there. It was a slow journey, a long one, and it is still on going.. but always celebrate the small achievements throughout! YOSHHHH, you can do it! 

So yea, I hope this would help you or inspire you somehow or rather. Remember, a healthy mind comes from a healthy body (العَقْلُ السَّلِيْمُ فيِ الجِسِْم السَّلِيْمِ). Stay healthy guys! :D

Love,
AA.

Tuesday, 4 July 2017

Bully.

I first posted on my story about bully on Instagram a few years back. It was when I started to first talk about how I came to build my self-confidence, as a motivation for women empowerment. I am going to talk about it again, but today I am going to touch base about the topic of bully, that is really becoming a huge issue these days. This is not a post to gain pity, nor is it a post to boast. Instead it is a post to raise awareness of the topic of ‘psychological’ bully and empowerment.

So today I decided to dig a bit deeper on the issue of bullying. Kids can be the meanest with their peers, you might think it is an innocent ‘oh budak, diorang tak faham lagi (oh kids, they still don’t understand)’. Yes, I am not denying this is true, the kids that are bullying at a young age are immature, and could not comprehend how their actions could affect the person being bullied. However, it is our responsibility as adults to tell them or to advise them that it is not ‘fun’ to do so, Don’t just leave them doing what they’re doing just because they are ‘kids’ because no matter what it is still affecting the kid being bullied.
I’ll start with a few stories of mine, something simple that I could relate with. Back when I was four/five, I used to live in London. I had a great time going to school over there. I started attending playschool and year one over there. I remember how I used to love school; it was a lot of fun! We had excursions to the park for art class, and we could draw anything we want according to our imagination. We also had a reading corner where the books were placed according to its difficulty level. I really enjoyed reading time (especially since I was often praised for being the only one able to read the hardest level at that age – eceh, zaman dulu je lah aku advanced). Coming back to Malaysia, I had a hard time adjusting. I had a little bit of a culture shock coming to school, dah lah ‘bajet mat salleh tak reti cakap melayu’. My English was also very British; I had a hard time communicating with my friends.
I had to return back to kindergarten, where I had nice friends (well I had no friends, but at least I wasn’t bullied), but I got bored because they were learning numbers and alphabets when I was already forced by Grandma to memorize my multiplication table up to 12 (okay, this is not meant to boast, it was just what it was... I must say though past Amalia was pretty amazing). So my parents had to find a school for me where I could start early.
We came across a private school (always felt guilty for my parents who had to take loans just to send me off to school) where they place you according to your ability. So I had to take an assessment and they placed me to primary one, so I started school early. At this school is when I was first exposed to bullying. Don’t get me wrong; there was nothing wrong with the school. Everywhere you go pon, sama je… Kids can be mean.
As I said earlier, I had culture shock, but it was even worse when I started my primary school. People were speaking Malay, which I understood but could not communicate well with, they were making fun of my British accent, I was left out because I could not fit in, and I remember how no one brought a drawing block for art class and since my mom wanted me to be happy to go to school, she bought me one and I had to give the paper to the whole class, I got scolded because I finished it up too fast. I had bladder issues and I usually accidentally pee. I wonder if it is all anxiety? But I remember hating to go to school, and would cry every morning and made my mom go to work late. I never told my parents I was bullied, they never knew I had a hard time adjusting. I thought if I complained, they would just think I am making up excuses, me being the drama queen I am. Truth is the reason why I did not want to go to school was because I JUST HATED SCHOOL. I was that one kid that did not belong.
That issue went by, because if y’all know me… I can adapt to changes pretty easily. So I clicked with everybody by the second half of the semester (I think), I had friends. I lost my British accent (unfortunately) so I could fit in, but hey… when in Rome, do as the Romans do.  I guess that was the first thing I learned, adjusting to the change, but still stay true to yourself because I had the confidence that I was fun being me, I just needed to change the way I spoke.  As time passed by, another set of ‘bullies’ came to my life, this is at adolescent age, when as a girl you start being conscious of your looks. I think I was about 9 (Okay, I mature early.. my 9 equals to 12 years old in normal dictionary). I also look like so, not only would a random passerby get confused of my age, even those who are close do (I’m always expected to be 3 years older than my age – I’ll talk about this later), I don’t blame them… I have always looked old aka ‘matured’.
I never realized before this if I looked pretty or if I looked ugly, never really cared. I was oblivious of any beauty standards. Everybody loved me for who I am, so never thought it was a problem. Only until this point I realized, how I looked didn’t fit in the normal standard (again this is based on my feelings at that time).  I just realized that when I look at people my right eye would sway away, my teeth was too far apart and they did not close properly, my lips were joined and I have an igloo on my tongue (I still think it’s pretty cool). I started to realize this when my seniors that take the same van back from school use to tease me. The one thing that I remember most was the day when I presented for a storytelling competition, when I went back, I remember being cursed ‘why would you go up the stage, you’re ugly F*CK off’. Like literally, at that time I guess saying ‘F*ck’ was like the coolest thing ever to do. Like these days saying F*ck is like, meh... nothing. It doesn’t mean anything. But at that time, it was like a HUGE insult. That’s when I first ‘realized’ I was ‘ugly’. Since then, I, the one who loves performing, hated even looking at people when I talk. I was always conscious. I was blessed with great family and friends throughout the years that never made me realize I was lacking. Since then (up to the next phase), whenever I meet someone new, every time I have a one to one conversation, I’ll start looking somewhere else. Okaylah, to be honest this is the only thing I have yet to overcome fully. I still look somewhere else if I am uncomfortable, but I could at least look at a person for more than 5 minutes, or until I see signs that the person doesn’t know where to look at me in the eye. One thing I was lucky for at this period of time, was because my cousin aka my childhood bestfriend was attending the same school with me. We were different classes, but knowing that I have a friend to accompany me after school and on the van, really relieved me. Thank you ah, my fellow INFJ buddy. 
Secondary School took place, I overcame the past scars (at least I moved on) and also had my teeth fixed with retainers, so one less of an issue. Now comes another set of bullies in my life, bullies that played with the ‘cinta monyet (monkey love) phase’.  HAHAHA!!! Okay, this might be more of an embarrassing and more personal set of stories, so you might want to skip my secondary school story if you are uncomfortable.
Ahhh… Secondary school, its when we realize we have a crush on someone (or plural). Yes, one-sided mostly for me, wahahaha. At this time, I kind of understood it would be one-sided, guys will usually have a crush on the pretty ones, plus I’m known to be the mediator, or you could call me ‘the wing(wo)man'. Secrets were all in my hand, but I had my fair share of stories (umm... Mama and Abah, if you’re reading this, I’m old enough to disclose my silly crush stories right? BAHAHA). Okay, coming back to the topic of bully, the bullies that came to my life cannot make it more obvious to me or make me hurt and destroy my already ‘stable’ self-confidence. I think these set of bullies crushed me the most. I guess it crushed me the most because it was one of the most crucial and sensitive growing part of life.
I think it was sometime in Secondary 3 (I was 12, just had my mensus. But like I said, I was like a 15 year old because most of my peers were). One day two seniors of mine came to me and said they told this person X that I had a crush on him (which I don’t, super embarrassing). But the response was even worst, they told me how disgusted the guy was when he knew about it and laughed so badly at me. Dahlah I was wrongly accused, cakap pulak macam tu. It doesn’t help that I already know no one had a crush on me (again… the thought at that time), you had to break every wall of self confidence that I have rebuilt again? I was so crushed, to the core. I didn’t dare to look at the guy again, nor do I have the ‘guts’ to ‘confess’ my cinta monyet to anyone. HAHAHAHA.
Secondary 5 happened, I was no longer bullied; I was part of the ‘popular’ group and someone came to like me for who I am. I basked on that happiness, alah budak-budak remaja. I wasn’t even 17, I was 14 at that time wahahaha. This time my role was reversed, I became the nappeun yeolja (the mean woman, to put it nicely). I did not bully, because I know it was wrong. But I was part of a group that isolated people that ‘don’t belong’.  I was mean, and I apologize for isolating certain people at that time – including my lifelong bestfriend. I guess it was just over my head that I was cool. We were literally like the mean girls from the movie mean girls - like you can't sit with us (versi baik sikit, we’re actually nice people *cough* – it just got to our head. My 2 girlfriends are people that you all love now), and my realization was like when Cady Heron returned back to becoming a mathelete. So I insaf, and got to college andddd… that's another story. Point is at Secondary 5, I was in the shoes of the bully. I felt so horrible. I am appalled by my own self. Temporary popularity and fun, but guilt came after.
The story has gotten too long, so I’ll stop here. But the point of me exposing these stories is not to tell the biography of my life (like who am I lah to cerita story of my life). But it is because I am blessed with these experiences that I had as a child that made me become who I am today. These stories could help me relate further to those people that might be in the same shoes. I feel that there is a need to share so that parents can maybe relate to their children, kids could maybe feel better about them, knowing that these experiences would make them become stronger! I hope that by sharing this, this will somehow help someone in his or her life. Don’t get me wrong, my school life wasn’t that bad; to be honest it was not bad at all. I had so many pleasant and good memories, and I did so much in both primary and high school that these negative things became just small memories hidden in the corner of my brain and heart. But, this also tells you that these small memories were so unpleasant to me that I remembered every single detail.
I know what I have gone through is nothing like those bully cases that happened recently, and in a way I am blessed to be a female. No physical form of bully was attempted. But, words… words can be the sharpest blade of all. Psychological bully can be really dangerous. Kids at a young age are very fragile and get affected easily, and it leaves a deep scar on them. It lowers down their self-esteem and self worth, and sometimes people are unlucky enough that they are still affected by it till they get older. Some get depression; some might still be fighting to overcome certain phobias that were developed from the scars that they have been through.
Whatever it is, if you are being bullied right now, and it hurts. It hurts so much. Be strong!! Never lose hope. Please tell your parents or someone about it, do not keep it to yourself. If you think there is no one out there who will listen to you, just tell someone till you find one. Tell whomever you trust. It helps you lower your sadness in the heart.
With the current rising standard of beauty, never feel like you are not worth it. Every part of you is beautiful. I know this might be cliché, but trust me. If someone likes you for who you are, that is more worth it then any kind of ‘crush’ because you’re beautiful. If people like you for your kind heart and personality, it is more beautiful than people liking you for your face. I truly believe and hold on to the principle that being beautiful inside is what matters! Beauty is not just what comes to the eye, but that self-confidence that you portray is what reflects your beauty. Its accepting your flaws and appreciating what you have is what beauty is all about. Be confident, people can only love you when you love yourself. Be kind, be respectful, never bully other people because it’s ‘fun’. It would not be fun if you are in his or her shoes wouldn’t it?

Love,
AA.


Wednesday, 31 May 2017

Pushing Myself Back on Track

It’s been a while since I last blogged, and although I have promised the last time to blog on my experience of doing my Masters in Dr. Adler’s lab, I have failed to get myself writing on the post as I am dwelling in how much time it would take for me to write. I know, another form of procrastination. I have recently just watched a video on how to improve on the skills you want to build or make, and all it takes is to work on it daily. Yes, you got it... watched it on ‘Nas Daily’ where he makes 1-minute videos daily, and it doesn’t matter how much engagement you get, all that matters is that the content touches your core, it is what you want to produce. There are times that because you are pushing to do it daily, your motivation starts to fade, or maybe you might be producing something without quality… but as time progresses you would become better and better at it, naturally. I guess, this is something we all know, have known and will have to constantly remind ourselves… as the saying goes ‘practice makes perfect’.  I was totally inspired by the video and got myself thinking, hey, I should really stop making excuses. Even if it takes a couple of sentences a day, never stop writing… never stop progressing. So this topic goes to my attempt of studying Japanese and Spanish on duolingo. If you were to ask me what my weakness would be back in school, it wouldn’t be math. I was never scared of math, not that I am good at it… but math has always been a subject at school I have enjoyed doing. My biggest arch-nemesis was learning languages. I have the weakest language skills. Back in my school, we had to take Arabic as a foreign language. Despite learning it for years and years, I was only able to learn so much. Yes, I am able to read and write, maybe understand a few basic words, but that’s it. My incompetency in picking up languages is basically obvious because despite watching Japanese/Korean/Taiwanese shows for years and years, just like some of my other friends, they are better at understanding and confident at conversing than I am. So recently, I decided to challenge myself to learn a new language properly, however slow I am at picking it up. Just so that I could prove my own self, wrong (I have this thing that I like to do, I enjoy trying new things --- so you could tell how many things there are on my bucket list! So much yet to cross off and I keep adding new to do's on my list). So coming back to what I really wanted to emphasize, is the need of practicing the 2 languages that I have started learning daily, and with this practice… I am also learning at becoming more consistent with my hobbies.



Okay, enough of chitchatting.  The major reason I made this blog is so I could write on scientific findings, or knowledge that I have gained either through attending a seminar, or reading a journal etc so that I get to understand things better, get the knowledge implanted in my head and at the same time share and spread the knowledge! So for the first scientific knowledge post, I would like to report on what I have learned from a seminar last Monday in UM. The seminar was on the ‘Innovative Strategies in Stem Cell Research’. Dr. Roland Leather from Thermo Fisher Scientific was the speaker for the seminar and of course, a talk given by a company would be biased to promote their product. But, excluding the biases of the products used, it was very informative and helpful for people like me who is still quite fresh and new in the stem cell research line.

The first talk was entitled the Innovative Solutions For Stem Cell and Neurobiology Research Workflow. Dr. Roland started with introducing iPSCs and the workflow in generating human pluripotent stem cells. As we know, induced pluripotent stem cells are stem cells generated from our adult somatic cells and reprogrammed to become pluripotent stem cell like cells. There are a lot of benefits and potential in theory of iPSCs and one of the biggest positive factors of it is that it is not immunogenic to its donor as it is from your own cell. Pluripotent Stem Cells are highly preferred compared to mesencymal stem cells as it could give rise to any types of cells from the mesoderm, endoderm, and ectoderm layer of the embryoid body in comparison to mesenchymal stem cells that could only give rise to a limited number of cells such as from the osteoblasts (bone cells), chondrocytes (cartilage cells), myocytes (muscle cells) and adipocytes (fat cells) lineages.

So the workflow of creating induced pluripotent stem cells starts from taking adult somatic cells from the patient and reprogram the cells by transfection of specific transcription factors (ie. Sox2, Oct4, Klf4, C-Myc) that will reprogram the adult somatic cells into induced pluripotent stem cells. Transfection can be done using may different gene delivery technologies such as using lentivirus, episomal vectors or the sendai virus. However, current issues with the usage of lentivirus or retroviruses are the possibility of integrating foreign DNA into the genome, which may lead to insertional mutagenesis. Hence, using a non-integrating delivery system such as the episome or sendai virus, is recommended. Episomes are circular extrachomosomal DNA molecules that carry viral elements and can be transfected into the cells without the need of viral packaging. Sendai virus on the other hand is a single-chin RNA virus and does not integrate into the genome, hence no genomic footprints left and no genotoxicity.

After reprogramming, the iPSCs are cultured. Challenges that companies are facing currently is to formulate culture media are that there are poor cell survival following single cell dissociation, slow and variable recovery rate and aberrant. There is much new advancement in stem cell media formulation, and one of it tackles the issue of having to change media every day. There are also many culture systems feeder or non-feeder dependent culture systems these days. Following culture of iPSCs, the iPSCs can be characterized by TaqMan, alkaline phosphatase assay, or the formation of teratoma and could after that, undergo genome editing, either by CRISPR Cas9 technology or TALs.

After gene editing, the iPSCs can finally be differentiated into different cell types of cells. Induced pluripotent stem cells are like Embryonic Stem Cells and can be differentiated into the cells of the three germ layers Endoderm, Ectoderm and Mesoderm. The speaker got to touch on the differentiation into neural cells only in this session. iPSCs can be differentiated into different neural lineages, and in order for us to differentiate the iPSCs into neurons or astrocytes, iPSCs have to be differentiated into Neural Stem Cells (NSCs) first, then into neural progenitor cells and finally after that to neurons or astrocytes. NSCs can be banked at day 16, which makes it convenient for the scientists, as there is no need to reculture iPSCs. At this point, the speaker recommended to use ‘culture one substrate’ as it helps NSCs to differentiate specifically to neuron cells and avoid proliferation of NSCS so there is no interruption of differentiation into neuronal cells. Finally, the diffentiated cells can be characterized or measure by FACS, AP live stain, live cell staining kits, fixed cell immunochemistry or Taqman hPSC scorecard.

I apologize for not getting into too detail, because honestly I got tired of writing 😂

I will continue the Part 2 (Thermo Fisher Capabilities on Mesenchymal Stem Cell Application) and Part 3 (Thermo Fisher CAR-T Solutions) of the talk on my next post! Promise xx.

Stay tuned.

AA.



Tuesday, 14 February 2017

Of American History and the 17-year-old opinion.

Today while writing on my next dreaming scientist post (Preview: On my rollercoaster journey to GoT for my Masters’), I was down on my RAM on my laptop. So I had to do a major spring-cleaning and transferred things to my hard drive. While looking through some past ‘homeworks’, I came across my past History 202 papers and was actually quite impressed with 17-year-old Amalia. I never thought I could write that well and think that critically at that age. Don’t get me wrong, I am not boasting, I’m just very astonished by the young Amalia seven years ago (oh Lord, that just made me sound so old. Time sure does fly). To be honest, the only thought in my head right now is… What happened to that Amalia? WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I really feel like my critical thinking skills and my IQ are dropping as time goes by. I guess I should stop reading too much OhMedia and crap on facebook (insert laughing with the tears coming out emoji).
One of the most memorable class that was non-science back in CalPoly while I was taking my degree was History 202: American History with Professor Christopher Bates (the other class was Sociology with Prof. Fong). I really had a great time being exposed to other fields (which I loved about the American education system). Some might think, what a waste of time. Why do we need to take all these classes when you’re not going to even use it? To me, it was an eye opener. Being exposed to all the other fields of studies makes you humble. The more you learn, the more you know how much you don’t know about this world and the more you see different views and ideas. Anyways, I am running out of the line of topic here, more on that in a different post (I might write on my experience with the American education system in the future).
Professor Bates was different. He was an amazing lecturer, one who has made History class so enjoyable. American History was one of the classes that I had to take on my first year since transferring to the States. One of the reasons I enjoyed the class was the freedom to express your opinions without being judged. It makes you explore and think out of the box from what you are expected to answer. I saw history in a different light. Not just a set of facts, but a series of stories that could be used to learn about how people think, how decisions were made, what was the outcome of a certain decision, how people reacted to the decision and basically what lessons could be learned from any past mistakes or achievements made. It was fun. I didn’t need to memorize a thing.
So just for my reference in the future, to motivate myself to write, think out of the box and so that I could delete it from my computer, I decided to put my papers here in the blog. I thought it would be a nice refresher, since it’s still in the topic of ‘current issues’ (well technically, at that time). Excuse the grammatical error and maybe the silly opinion of a 17-year-old. Also note that (yes, I am a scientist, very particular with references), at this time I based a lot on his notes and notes I took from the class, so no references can be found. Kids if you are actually taking Mr. Bates class, please don’t plagiarize. Trust me, I have seen someone copy my work word by word with the excuse of wanting to use it as a reference. Hah, no shame. People with no integrity, life will get back on them. Sooner or later, somehow or rather… But, such is life…

Magazine cover designed to encourage women to help with the war effort during WWII, created by Norman Rockwell.



This picture has definitely many implied meaning hidden into it. It is the perfect example of a propaganda picture, created by the government to manipulate the Americans’ into doing something. From the above picture, we could observe many details explaining what the propaganda was, and the period of time associating with it. Now putting my Sherlock Holmes thinking cap, let us look through some of those details.
 Firstly, the picture shows a woman who looked strong and muscular. Similar to ‘Rosie the Riveter’ that was created by J. Howard Miller in 1942, it showed and displayed ‘girl power’. It gives out the message that we women are strong too, like men! We are independent and able to do work that men do as well. Well, of course these posters were created when all most men were already drafted to WWII leaving the factories and labor left with none or very little men. Because of this, government started to make all these posters of women looking strong and capable of doing anything in order to persuade the women to work, since they are really needed. But, as you can see, the picture portrayed is of course a picture of a young white American lady.  This is because during this era, it is not that there are no women working. Like we have learned earlier, about the workers in Triangle Shirtwaist Company, the workers there are all women. But they were Irish Americans. So, women working are definitely not something new, women had always been working especially minority and lower-class women. However, the social class standard, where white women have to stay at home (private sphere) while the men going to work (public sphere) is still prevalent in the white middle class to upper class society. Not just that, because of the great depression (right before WWII), women have been kicked out of work because they are seen to have taken the jobs of men whom are supposed to work.
Secondly, you could observe that the women is bringing and carrying lots of stuffs altogether. You could see her carrying milk, a wrench, a watering pot, mop and many other things. The things that she brought displayed a work of a delivery milk man, a cleaner, a gardener and the repairman. Not just that, as you continue to observe the women, she is also wearing two hats on top of her head. One, looking like a nurse hat and the other looking like a taxi driver’s hat (but I’m not quite sure about that, it looks like those black hats that a driver in the past would usually wear). These observations describe the propaganda campaign launched by the government to sell the importance of war effort and to lure women into working. It shows that, not only we are strong, but we are capable to work as anything. It shows a picture how women are all able to be the character of ‘wonder woman’. The way I look at this picture, is ‘no matter what job you get, you are capable of working. If you are not employed in a particular job, or was kicked out you have still other jobs waiting for you’. It’s somehow an irony, that despite how women are needed in this period, companies were still putting this double standard between women and men. There are companies that are still unwilling to employ women, even in a desperate situation. So, looking at this, I believe that the message this poster is saying that despite you not getting work, never give up because there is so many other works that you can find, because women can do anything!
Thirdly, you could see that this woman is wearing the American flag ‘the star and stripes’. This obviously shows that the woman is patriotic. So the message behind this is telling that if you are working, you are also serving your country. Similar to the fourth observation that is made which is you could see that the woman’s face is frowning while she was looking ahead and her position of how she’s walking looks like she was charging and going into war (looks like as though she was going to beat up a person, with her sleeves folded up and all that). This picture convinced the women during that era that it is their responsibility as Americans to join the workforce and serve for the country. It’s like while the men go to war and fight for the country, the women also had a call of duty to maintain economic stability in the US by labor work. It is like being part of the WWII for the government. According to the Encyclopedia of American Economic History, "Rosie the Riveter" inspired a social movement that increased the number of working American women to 20 million by 1944, a 57% increase from 1940 (Wikipedia). It is also stated that pictures like this (despite this picture not being Rosie the Riveter) is what keeps the women going despite the harsh conditions that they have to face through). It is stated that pictures like this that convinced them that they had a patriotic duty to enter the workforce and stay there. 
 Now comes to the tough part, analyzing the picture as a big picture. This picture definitely describes the “turning point” in American history. But before explaining on about how this picture would describe a turning point in American history, we shall go back further into time to describe a larger picture of this ‘turning point’. Women and American History has contributed a large piece in American history textbooks. The evolution of women’s role can be seen through this picture, as we describe it in a big picture.
 The starting of the evolution of women would of course start with Jane Addam’s and her ‘Civic Maternalism’. She was the start of the ‘rebellion’ of women having to be in the private sphere. She crossed the borders and became a mother to her society. Hence being it both public sphere and the private sphere. This is the starting point where women slowly start to evolve, hence starting the movement towards women equality. Women have now started to work outside of the private sphere, especially for minorities and low-class women. Then comes women suffrage, of course the right to vote does not have anything to do with the picture, but just an example of showing the flow of how women equality and women rights started to evolve, women suffrage must be in the picture. WWI provided a full push of women’s right to vote. After President Woodrow Wilson claimed that America was a democratic country, the women of America was on arms saying that how can America be a democratic country when women was not allowed to vote? On the year 1919, the Congress passed the nineteenth amendment giving women the right to vote.
Now, coming back to the magazine cover above, how can this picture describe a turning point in American history? This picture, that had brought women to come to work, has changed the standpoint of women where women has to stay at home while men had to go out and do work. Because even after World War II women kept working, they have started to enjoy the job. While patriotism did influence women, ultimately it was the economic incentives that convinced them to work. Once at work, they discovered the nonmaterial benefits of working like learning new skills, contributing to the public good, and proving themselves in jobs once thought of as only men’s work.
So the real reason that attracted women to work is because of the experience and the money gained. Therefore, although the war ended, many women stayed working because they have already experienced the working world which they enjoy! Well who would not like receiving a paycheck? But, as usual of course they would return working in even worse conditions now that men have returned to their jobs. Now, there are other job opportunities for women, where they work in pink collared areas such as being a nurse or a teacher (a job where women are entitled to). So, this picture has explained how it has been a turning point for women where now even middle-class white Americans and social class white Americans go to work, like what you can see now in the modern world.
The second bit of putting this picture in a bigger picture of American history would be me explaining about how it will serve as an illustration of some larger theme or truth about American culture, American people and American history. This picture was pure propaganda of the government, in actually asking the women to fill up the empty spots where men used to work. It was actually for the government’s benefit. This technique of propaganda advertising is of course commonly used throughout history. Mass media has always played a big role in advertising this propaganda message from the government, in which most of the citizens in America would be fooled. Like usually what they do when they want to convince the people of America into accepting America to go to war, they would carry out this propaganda messages of course to influence us.
For example, the false stories of making the enemy look evil, and how dangerous the enemy could be (by manipulating the story) and looked as though the enemy has attacked us. Or, by saying we are out there to rescue some country from evil, because who would not help them if we do not help them? The most recent example that I could think of would be the propaganda of the Iraq War. While the government of America tells us Americans that we are there to help the Iraqis from the evil regime of Saddam Hussein, the true agenda is because Iraq is a huge source of oil, and being able to conquer Iraq means being able to conquer oil. Coming back to an example of the past, this is exactly like how the government puts up propaganda posters showing cartoons portraying that Japan is evil, and how they rape women, etc. so that the Americans would give permission for America go to war. Not only is that, propaganda posters also used during ballots since McKinley’s days up till now! Government propaganda posters are no longer a surprise and it’s rather common, well it’s basically done all over the world in every country I believe! And we as the people in the country are usually fooled by this, unfortunately.
This women portrayed in the cover of this magazine definitely plays a big role in World War II. It is not only important in World War II, but characters like this are definitely a reason for a turning point for women, and in American history! I definitely had learned a lot just by analyzing this one picture. 
                                                                                                                                                  This is a Republican poster from when William McKinley was running for reelection in 1900 with Theodore Roosevelt as his vice-president.

Interpreting this picture was rather mind boggling. I had a hard time understanding the poster to tell you the truth. I finally came into understanding the poster, and hopefully what I understand is correct. This poster is an election campaign poster used by the republicans running for presidential elections year 1900. McKinley came back as a candidate for reelection as president in the year 1900 along with Theodore Roosevelt as vice president representing the republicans. As you can observe in the poster, it showed McKinley’s and Theodore Roosevelt’s achievements as president and vice president throughout 1896 to 1900 and how much America has improved for the better. Well, anything that has to do with election posters definitely has a propaganda hidden into it, of course all the good are portrayed and all the flaws are hidden away. This was a strategic way to buy the people’s vote, well the line ‘the administrations promises have been kept’ really made an impact to the comparison made from the year 1896 (before McKinley’s presidency) to the year 1900s. Even I was compelled by the poster!
 We could see that the first point made is the picture of ‘gone democratic’ made comparison with the picture of ‘gone republic’. Before McKinley, President Grover Cleveland was a democrat, hence had represented the Democratic Party. In this photo, it shows that under the Democratic Party the United States has been unindustrialized. As you can see in the left photo, and compare it to the right photo, the one showing gone republican shows a more developed country. Where the factory chimneys are showing the production of smoke (representing that the factory is on the go) and you could see the farmers mowing and train passing through as well as many ships moving. While comparing to the gone democratic picture, it shows that the factory was not working (there is a sign at the door of the building, which I believe tells us that it is closed) and there is no smoke produced by the chimneys. You could also see that the picture shows somewhat of a deserted city, where ships are broken and rubbish can be seen everywhere. It just shows to us that with the change of America being under the Republican Party, we are being more industrialized and moving towards modernization. At least, this is what is interpreted and wanted to be portrayed according to the Republicans.
This also somehow showed that if people were to choose the democrats back than during the presidential election of 1896 (whom the presidential candidate for the democrat was William Jennings Bryan) things would only get worst. Is some kind of an irony I guess for me, because what William Jennings Bryan had campaigned during 1896 that seems to me was attractive, back then, would have looked like a terrible decision right now that you have seen the republicans ‘achievements’. With William Jennings Bryan of changing money into silver, imagine if that were to happen, wouldn’t America’s economy be worst off? And wouldn’t what the scenario described for gone democratic be true? Well, this point I guess was a big plus for William McKinley now to use for his reelection.
 The second picture being compared is the picture ‘A run on the bank’ and ‘A run to the bank’. As you can see in the picture ‘A run on the bank’ you could see the picture where the bank is closed and people are crowding to get to the bank. A run on the bank also known as bank run occurs when a large number of bank customers withdraw their deposits because they believe that the bank is, or might become, insolvent. This picture explains the period of time where the Populist had the concept of coinage of silver on a ratio of 16:1 with gold, and people like poor workers that were in debt and also the silver miners were convinced with this idea. The populist at that time were against the Republicans, the ‘gold bugs’ and William McKinley was one of the big people who were against this idea. Not to mention banks, middle class people who saved, stock brokers, etc. In the movie the Wizard of Oz these ‘gold bugs’ was portrayed by the wicked witch of the east, and how Dorothy and her friends killed the witch was by ‘liquefying’ her. So in this picture, it tells us that before McKinley became president, people are afraid of the banks being liquefied, that is the reason why people are taking away all their money from the banks. But during the republicans reign, the picture of ‘a run to the bank’ shows how people are now going to the bank and feeling confident of their money and trust to the bank. People feel more safe and secured now.
The third picture shows the comparison before (the Spanish rule in Cuba) and after (the American rule in Cuba).  In the picture it shows that during the years where William McKinley was president (1986-1900) the Cubans were set free from the reconcentration camps of the ‘Evil’ Spanish. You could see how the Cubans suffered a lot on the left side of the picture (they were very thin and skinny and were cuffed and lived in prison) while at the right side of the picture you could see that the Cubans were happily living outside the brick walls, doing work and going to the market. What’s funny was in the beginning McKinley did not even want to be involved with the outside world. Teddy Roosevelt whom was not even vice president was the one who was very excited to ‘save’ the Cubans. Teddy had to convince McKinley into helping the Cubans. This is also a satire, while they saved the Cubans, and said the Spanish was evil, soon after that when they removed the Spanish from Philippines, they did the exact same thing to the Pilipino when the Filipinos rebelled against them. The amount of people who died from the Philippines reconcentration camp is double the amount of the people who died in the Cuban ‘reconcentrados’.
 Now, let us see how we can bring this poster into a bigger picture of American History. Firstly, election posters and campaigns were not usually used back then up to the year 1896. The election candidates were only allowed to sit at home, since it was inappropriate to do anything. This was the polite way to run for presidency. Back then, the candidates were just able to do these dirty tricks (and were considered acceptable). They used to write letters to the newspapers (using newspaper attacks) and plant stories and gossips about the other candidate. Secondly, they would say that they were going to visit their relatives back in the countryside, which they will use a longer route, making stops by hotels and make private speeches. Thirdly, is the famous Front Porch Campaign. It is not wrong to them if people go to your house and you give a speech, because it is still considered as staying at home. Only in the year 1896 did William Jennings Bryan evolve the system of a presidential campaign, into the modern way of a presidential campaign which we are using in this modern era.
After this turning point, presidential elections have been more interesting with posters seen everywhere, flyers being handed out, and even commercials advertising the candidate seen on TV or heard on the radio. You can see this technique used in any kind of government elections nowadays since the turning point of the presidential campaign. The most recent example was the 2008 presidential campaign, where Barack Obama ran as the candidate of the 44th President of the United States. For his campaign, he had the famous ‘HOPE’ and ‘CHANGE’ poster where you could see his face being portrayed on the poster with the word ‘HOPE’ or ‘CHANGE’ written at the bottom.


The poster is giving that statement, when you elect Obama there is hope for a peaceful world, and a new change that the Americans want. At that time, this theme was the most compelling for the citizens of the United States. The usage of posters is not only restricted to presidential elections, but has been used in many other government elections such as the most recent Californian Governor election, year 2010.
Secondly, the quote “The American Flag has not been planted on foreign soil to acquire more territory but for humanity’s sake”.  The same with the Cubans, where the Americans came to rescue them from the torture of the Spanish empire, was what it was for the Americans to join the Vietnam War. The Vietnam War was part of the cold war where it was all about communism and fear. Since the president of America signed a document saying that if any country needs help in the stop against communism, the United States will help them without a hint of hesitation. The U.S. government viewed involvement in the war as a way to prevent a communist takeover of South Vietnam and part of their wider strategy of containment. So, this quote is a famous quote basically used when America wants to get involved with a war. For humanity’s sake, to help the people who are in need.
To sum it all up, basically this poster is an election poster for McKinley’s reelection and Theodore Roosevelt being his Vice President in the year 1900. They were representing the republican wing. This poster showed what McKinley has done throughout the years and how he has helped America towards a more positive light. It showed a comparison and how different America has become when he was the president. Of course, in all political posters there is a propaganda hidden in it. But the poster is rather eye catching. I would fall for this! With the quotations alongside that matches the pictures like a main course and its side dish. Well, what is represented in the picture is actually all true. But behind this entire picture is an implied story that people might not know, but as historians might know. Historians are like detectives; they look at every single inch of detail and find the true answer underlying. It was fun analyzing these pictures and playing historian, well at least as an amateur historian.
                                                                                                                                                   This shows the cover of the May 1952 edition of the Police Gazette, a very popular magazine back in the 1950s (roughly equivalent to People magazine today).

When I looked through this picture, the first thing that attracted me was the headlines itself. ‘The Truth about Stalin’s A-Bomb’ was written in bold, with a picture showing the atomic bomb explosion. This picture was displayed on the cover page of The National Police Gazette . It seems at this time, the story or the gossip relating to the Russians and the atomic bomb was selling like hot cakes. For the word ‘Russia’ and the ‘Atomic Bomb’ to be a hot issue at this time, means that this magazine was definitely published during the Cold War.
 During this era, people were all terrified and scared of the possiblility of the Russians dropping their Atomic Bomb on the United States. The quote ‘duck and cover’ was very common among all the American citizen at this time. We were surely aware at this time, that we were no longer at the advantageous side. In the beginning of the cold war, the cold war may be leaning more to the side of the Americans, thanks to ‘Fatman’ and “Little boy’. But, as years past, Russians have started to keep up with the advancement of American technologies including inventing their very own set of Atomic Bomb.
 By this time, Americans feel no longer as powerful as they used to be. Now, they are equally matched and the tension was rising. But both well know that they both would not want to even use their Atomic Bomb on each other, both sides hated each other but neither wanted a hot war. That is te reason why they contnued to have a Cold War between each other. A definition of a Cold war would be a war without fire, another word for it is Proxy War which means fighting each other witout exactly going to war with them.
The Americans and the Russians had been in a cold war for the following reasons,  firstly the tension between Communism [russians] & Capitalism [americans] (their ideology on industrialization was clashing with each other. Both wanted to prove that their ideology was better, and wants to spread their ideology to as many countries as possible. At this time, we could see that the United States were pure rivals with the Russians in terms of their own preference of industrialization ideologies.
Secondly, due to the hatred the Russians have towards the Americans since World War I, where we helped the Czar of Russia to go to war against Germany (which was against what the society of Russia wanted). The rebellion against the Czar had caused a really tragic day which I think had an impact to all Russians, the day known as ‘Bloody Sunday’ (U2 had a song written all about it!).
Lastly, the series of invasions during WWII to avoid Russia from spreading itself to invade Germany (the invasion of Italy and France). After the series of invasions, comes the American attack (bombing of Dresen and Japan). The motive of the bombing was to scare Russia, claiming to them that ‘we Americans are powerful, so don’t you dare do anything that can harm us, because we have the technology that can destroy you’.
Since the start of cold war, and especially after the advancement of Russia with them catching up with Atomic bombs, the Americans have lived their daily lifes with full of suspicions and cautions. This picture and the headline just explains of how paranoid the Americans were towards Stalin, Russians and the Atomic Bomb coming right after them. Who wouldn’t be! I bet the Russians were living off with the same fear as well.
The second thing that cought my eye in this picture was the catchline at the top right corner. ‘HITLER IS ALIVE! Secret Report of his Latest Activities’. I find this catchline pretty amusing! Businesses go to that extend to attract buyers to buy their product, in this case the magazine. This brings us to the topic ‘The Rise of Consumer Culture in the 1950s’.
After World War II in the 1950s, the economy has changed. Everybody could afford products or needs. So instead of advertising for people’s needs, businesses starts to advertise in a different light in order to attract buyers. The advertising stratergies for the products sold is no longer like before, businesses tried out so many other different stratergies. The best example would be the Cadillac advertisment we look through in class. Companies do not advertise the car in the sense of attracting people through their needs. People don’t buy a Cadillac because it’s a very practical object that could help one’s life! People buy THE Cadillac because it’s a symbol of luxury! The car literally screams I’M RICH! Now, even an average joe could be living life like the rich and famous thanks to the Cadillac.
 As we can see in the tabloid, the catchline was a clear example of how after WWII due to the rise of the economy, advertistments have evolved to suit the current situation, where attracting the buyers with ‘hot gossip’ or ‘weird and interesting’ headlines/subheadlines is a must in tabloid promotion.
Thirdly what attracted me was the picture of the actress, Lucille Ball who acted in a famous American Sitcom ‘I Love Lucy’. Seems to me by this age, the television was available to public and looks like it is the era where many seem to have own a television set at home. Why do I say so? Well, why would you write a story on a tabloid if you don’t expect the story to be the reason why people want to buy the tabloid.
‘The boob tube’ was invented by an American named Philo T. Farnsworth, far back in the year 1905. At first this great invention was not famous because people were not interested in it. Only in the year 1920 did this invention became recognized. Unfortunately WWI, the great depression and WWII came in the way and people became uninterested again. Only after WWII did the TV took off, and amazingly almost overnight after WWII ended, practically everybody wanted to own one. It took 40 years for the TV to catch on, but unfortunately by that time Philo was dead.
Since the phenomenon of the television started, TV has played a key role in shaping American culture. There are 4 ways of how television shaped American culture and that is TV creates a shared national culture (the sharing of events), TV creates ‘shared punchline,catch phrase, etc’, TV shapes the economy and TV played a big role in politics.
The picture of the actors in ‘I Love Lucy’ in this tabloid have showed to us how famous the sitcom was, hence telling us that almost everyone in America owns a television, watches the same TV show and hence proved to us that TV really has played a key role in shaping American culture. In fact, this phenomenon can still be seen now and I believe it will very much continue in the future.
Lastly, caption ‘Korea’s greatest adventure story’, confirms us even more that this tabloid was published during the era of the cold war. Looks like this tabloid was published before the Vietnam War though, since Korea seems to be the center of our attention.
The Korean War was a military conflict between South Korea, supported by the United Nations, and North Korea, supported by the People's Republic of China (PRC), with military material aid from the Soviet Union. The war was a result of the physical division of Korea by an agreement of the victorious Allies at the conclusion of the Pacific War at the end of World War II (Wikipedia). It lasted for three years, starting from 25th June 1950 to 2th July 1953.
Now taking the picture into a larger theme, the first thing that I thought of was of course non other than the picture of the explosion of the atomic bomb. The turn point of using atomic bomb as a technology used in wars go not that far back from the cold war. The atomic bomb was first introduced by the Americans in World War II during the bombing of Hiroshima & Nagasaki.  At that time the Americans were very proud of their weapons and technologies of mass destruction. America was very advanced in terms of technology compared to other countries. No one could beat them when it comes to war, they were too strong and well equipped with up-to-date weapons. America was the only country that had the ability to develop such powerful weapon, and was the only one that was in posession at this period.
‘Fatman’ and ‘Little boy’ were the nicknames for the two atomic bombs we posess at this period of time. On August 6th of the year 1945, President Truman had sent a command for Fatman to be dropped on Japan for ‘trial’. There were two alternatives for the target planned for Fatman to be dropped, first was a millitary base in Japan and secondly was the city of Hiroshima (the biggest city that was not yet crushed into pieces). What determined which target to be chosen, was the clarity of the target from the aircraft Fatman borded (the aircraft’s name was Enola Gay). Unfortunately, the military base cannot be seen due to the clouds, and so the second target, the city of Hiroshima was bombed. 80,000 citizens of Japan died instantly and another 40.000 died of cancer due to the radiation.
 Right next day President Truman made a speech. There were three points to be taken into account, these three points were directed to three different groups. The first point was directed to the American citizens and the world explaining about the situation. As usual, like every other time, Truman started the speech by framing the other party as the evil one. He said that ‘they did it first’, what happened in Pearl Harbour, and so they were just countering back what Japan had did to us.
The second point was directed to the Russians, to scare them (this was partly the reason that brought America and Russia into the cold war, and the reason for the Russians to start developing an nuclear bomb). Truman stated his second point that the American’s are powerful, with the sustenance of American scientists inventing more and more hi-tech military gizmos. Lastly, his third and very last point was directed to the Japanese. He threatened them that if the Japanese fought back, they will destroy the hack out of them.
 But, 2 days after Truman gave his speech, even without any counterattack from the Japanese, President Truman sent out the instruction to drop the second bomb (Little Boy) on Japan. This time, the two alternatives  for the target planned for Little Boy to be dropped, first was a millitary base in Japan and secondly was the city of Nagasaki (the second biggest city that was not yet crushed into pieces). Ironically, similar as last time, the clouds were ‘blocking’ the military base and they had no choice but to bomb the city of Nagasaki, bringing to death of 60,000 citizens.
President Truman’s decission was a big risk, since if Japan was not fooled, they could have counterattack the United States, this time without the United States having any atomic bomb left. The motive for his decission was to backup his points and to use the bomb as a stratergy to end WWII (to stop the Japanese army from harming us anymore). Thankfully, Truman’s plan worked and the Japanese empire surrendered which led to VJ day and the end of WWII.
From this story, we are able to see that the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagazaki had been the starting point of using Atoming bombs in war. Now, I believe almost all the major countries secretly have at least one atomic bomb just in case of another war outbreak. Well, if you don’t possess one, you are definitely at great risk!
The second point for taking the picture into a larger theme would be from the picture of Jimmy Carter. ‘Jimmy Carter boxing’s mystery champion’ was written under his picture. In my point of view, after seeing this picture, I think that Racism was not was much felt in the world of sport even from back in the days. I feel that Jimmy Carter, even being a black american, was accepted by the american society as a champion.
The acceptance of champions from other colors in the world of sports in America can be seen from than even up to now! In fact there are lots and lots of very well known black american sportsmen, and they are all seen as idols for the americans doesn’t matter what race you are! There’s Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, Shaquille O’Neil and many more, in fact (like what Professor Bates have stated), almost all of the touchdowns made in American football are done by African Americans! So, it’s no surprise to see African Americans to be accepted in the world of sports without any descrimination compared to any other region of interest, thanks to the outstanding performance of their sportsmenship.
As a conclusion this picture is a front page from a tabloid called ‘The Police Gazette’, published during the Cold War era. I believe it is published around 1951-1953 because the Korean war was around this perios (1950-1953) and I Love Lucy started to be played on air in the year 1951. At this era also, the different approach of advertisment is applied. From this picture also, we could relate to the acceptance of other colors in the world of sports from back then to the present days, and also how war has changed this days, from just ordinary weapons that kill only soldiers to deadly atomic bombs that kill citizens of the country be it soldier or not.
                                                                                                                                                   This shows an anti-integration rally at a Southern high school in 1959.


This picture shows an anti-integration rally at a Southern High School in 1959. Despite the Supreme Court decission where they said segregation of education is not allowed (Brown Vs. Board of Education), the White Southerners still did not accept racial mixing and was going against the decission of the Supreme Court. This picture tells us how much the White Southerners was unhappy with what the Supreme Court decided.
The first point to be discussed after observing the picture in detail, is the clothes they are wearing. You could see all white men and women, young and old wearing decent and handsome/pretty looking clothes. Clothes in which of the earlier era before WWII could only be afforded by rich aristocrats.
This tells us exactly that at this time, doesn’t matter if you’re not loaded, you could still afford a nice looking outfit. Therefore, it has to be during the era after WWII where people splurge on everything they can, where the economy was doing well again and thus the era of the rise of capitalist culture.
Unlike what happened after WWI where America was facing economic depression, when WWII ended, America faced a total opposite phenomenon. Surprisingly, instead of another great depression, America was facing the postwar economic boom also known as the golden age of capitalism.
Because of what happened in the past (the great depression), the Americans thought that they should spend more money after war, as much as possible while they can. This is what had caused the economy to prosper. Not only that, since in WWII the women started tasting what it’s like to own their own money, the women whom have worked during WWII have kept all their savings and started to spend up their money after the war has ended. I guess, this is when the whole’women and shopping’ era started. Women up till now, I believe has been a great support to the economy.
To top this up, after WWII the American poplulation started rising. This phenomenon is well known as the ‘baby boom’. These babies are known to be the welthiest generation of babies abd has been a key target for advertising. Now, many businesses use kids for their marketing stratergy, and much to my surprise, businesses make more money from kids rather than women!
The second point to be discussed is the sign board being held by the people in the rally or also known as the reformist. You could see the two signboard written ‘race mixing is communism’ and ‘Race mixing; the march of antichrist’. Both of which are stating how race mixing is such an evil act.
The rally was against race mixing, and thus the poster being brought by the ralliers prove to us that the white people doesn’t matter young or old was really against race mixing. Bringing posters of such was to convince the nation how evil race mixing is. Being compared to communism, the fear of the nation at that time can definitely convince ignorant people in that era. Not only that, being copared to the antichrist is even worst!
The term or title antichrist, in Christian theology, is a leader who fulfills Biblical prophecies concerning an adversary of Christ, while resembling him in a deceptive manner. The antichrist will seemingly provide for the needs of the people but deny the ultimate salvation (wikipedia). The antichrist, is also similar to what Muslim believe to be the ‘Dajjal’ and the Dajjal in our religion is evil, beyond evil. Evern worse than commuinsm. Hence, if what I understand is correct, the christians also believe that the antichrist is evil.
 So for race mixing to be compared with something even more evil than communism, it scares me of! But of course, that was the stratergy. That was the plan. The white americans was trying to convince othe white americans and the government to stop racial mixing and that is what they were trying to prove. Just like what you see now, this technique has been used over and over again. The most recent example are the republicans whom are trying to bring down Obama. One of the tactics is by claiming that Obama is supporting the terrorist, which sadly was because Obama is supporting the muslims.
Thirdly, as you look even more closely at the picture, we could see a man on the second floor of the building looking over the rally. Although this might not have been he presiden, bu I’d like to relate it to what the president was doing at that time. As you can see, the man is overlooking the whole situation from a far, but he’s not doing anything about it. He was just a spectator of a very interesting crowd. The president at this time, President Dwight D. Eisenhower, who was the thirty fourth president of the United States and served as president from January 20, 1953 to January 20th 1961 was similar to this situation at first.
President Eisenhower was just observing like a spectator throughout his years serving as president in regards of the Civil Rights Movement. He was afraid to take any action against any act of fighting against racial mixing or fighting for racial mixing. This is because, he was afraid that if he took part, he will loose his votes from being president (or perhaps from being reelected as president). Why would he loose votes? Because in the beginning not much whites were actually into racial mixing either. They were all probably against it. So to be supporting this will bring a big impact on Eisenhower’s reputation and vote. Only until John F. Kennedy became president was there action for the civil rights movement, although not much. After Kennedy was assassinated President Lyndon Johnson who took responsibilty as president did the Civil Rights Act was passed.
 The last point we are able to observe is the three men holding the Old Glory in this rally. This shows the importance of the American flag representing the people of America. Like every other countries, the flag represents the country. Bringing the American flag, in my point of view is trying to convey that the people of America is against race mixing and they are representing the voices of other white Americans.
The irony of this theory though would be that, despite the White not liking the Black Americans or races other then white americans, Black Americans are also Americans. So how can this rally be representing the voices of Americans?
Relating this picture to the larger theme, the first most evident point when you see a rally would be the March of the Bonus Expeditionary Army. Why would I say that? Well that comes to my head first. Rallies are a very famous way in expressing your dissatisfaction against something, especially your dissatisfaction towards the government. Unlike this Rally where it is taken place in front of a school, the Bonus Expedition Army march took place in fron of the whitehouse. Let me take back to what happened during the Bonus Expedition Army march.
The Bonus Expeditionary army took place during the Great Depression after WWI. The March was led by Walters W. Waters and participated by army veterans of WWI. The reason for this march was because these veterans were told that their Chaques will be given 25 years after WWI was over. Of course the veterans became mad, and especially because of the Great Depression they are more in need for their money.
While Hoover tried to send away the Bonus Expeditionary army with an army and failed, FDR succeeded in sending away the Bonus Expeditionary Army by sending his wife with donuts and coffee. That is why FDR is a good president, and we are not. He was able to think of the most absurd idea, but actually worked. Just like FDR, JFK was able to send back the white southerners from rallying by threatening the, that they should STOP or else the funding for the government will not be given.
When talking about anti-integration, the talk about racism comes to my mind. When talking about racism, what comes in my head first would be non other but the Ku Klux Klan, also abbreviated as the KKK. So, the second point to bringing the picture to a larger theme would be the KKK. The KKK is a three distinct past and present far-right organizations in the United States, which have advocated extremist reactionary currents such as white supremacy, white nationalism, and anti-immigration, historically expressed through terrorism.
When relating to this picture, isn’t what the people are rallying for what the KKK would have supported to do? In my point of view, if we could relate this white southerners to, just like how these white southerners relate race mixing as communism and antichrist, we could relate them as the Ku Klux Klan.
The Ku Klux Klan was well known to practice lynching as a way to torture black Americans. Klan members adopted masks and robes that hid their identities and added to the drama of their night rides, their chosen time for attacks. They torture the black Americans with pride, as it is an honor to have cought a black american and to have sfuffocated them.
Of course these people are not that extreme to have lynch the black americans like what the KKK did. But the idea of being white extremist is definitely similar of to what brought the members of the KKK together. It looks like to me the fight against racism was a long one. It has been there since 1877 and it has continues to be fought against till 1964. As a matter of fact, despite de jury racism has been abolished after the Civil Rights act have been signed in 1964, the fight for de facto racism is still occuring in this current era.
To sum it all up, this picture, the picture of an anti-integration rally in the year 1959 shows that the White Americans were strongly against race mixing. This rally happened after the decission of the Supreme Court for the case of Brown VS the  Board of Education. At this time of the era, we could see that the people were quite well off thanks to the economy expansion after WWII. Despite all this racism was still running strong, and hence the Civil Rights Movement wants to put and end to it.
From the picture above we have learned that performing a rally had been and still is a way of demonstrating unhappiness against something, and is especially used when the society is unhappy against the government. We have also learned that, the people participating the anti-integration rally could definitely be compared to and connected to the first wave of the Ku Klux Klan.